My Facebook feed is obnoxiously overloaded with exclamations of “Happy Election Day!” Like this is some sort of religious holiday or something. Wait a tick…
I posted as much, in a very glib remark, on my Facebook:
Seeing so many “Happy Election Day” exclamations. I am very surprised that Hallmark hasn’t seized this money-making opportunity yet.
Then, a lightning bolt of inspiration! An associate replied whether these should be ‘congratulations’ or ‘condolences’ cards. I replied:
I would envision the cards as being traded between members of the same sect or belief system. For example, the secular and non-religious send Christmas cards that are not religious to fellow secularists and vice versa. When you have to “cross the aisle” as it were, there would be a general card similar to “Season’s Greetings!”:
Example: “Wishing you joy and referendums on this Election Day! Happy Voting!”
Example: “We gather together at the Polling Place/To save our fragile democracy’s face/For all those who do not vote/In their face we shall gloat! Happy Election Day!”
Slap that shit on some cardstock, sprinkle some glitter on it and boom, $3.99 in the bank for Hallmark.
My genius, she scares me. Now, if you see this happen at any time in the near future, you saw it here first! I should start a greeting card company….