The Problem With A Name

Tags

feminism, for shame, hypocrites, prostitution, sexual expression, wtf

Specifically, its name is Femen.

Screencap courtesy of EXit Femen on Facebook.

If you haven’t heard of this group of twits and twats, they are an especially obnoxious feminist group that does topless protests and rants incessantly against the sex industry (And Islam. And hijab. And, apparently, fat women). They are so very concerned about the safety of women, they even storm the stage when one is performing and assault her in front of an audience! And brag about it! Initially, I had a link here to the video of the heckling and stage-storming but curiously the video is not working at the moment.

As someone who spent most of her childhood and adolescent years as a stage performer, I have a deep seated hatred of hecklers of any sort. It’s distracting, rude, and unnecessary. I’d rather someone silently walk out of a performance than to purposely distract the performers. It takes a lot to get up on a stage and entertain a group of people. And if there are multiple performers on one bill, heckling one performer unnerves all the other performers. On that point alone, Femen deserves nothing but criticism and ridicule.

Not to mention their ridiculous xenophobia and racism, as noted by this group of Muslimah. I’m all for new ways to call attention to a political cause, but not when it reeks with hypocrisy. This nudity is okay for Femen because they cover their naked skin with cliched, butthurt slogans about the EVILS OF PATRIARCHY!!!!; however, nudity is not okay when one turns it into a money maker. M’kay. Telling female sex workers to commit self-rape (how the fuck does that work, again?) is okay and apparently different from…rape-rape? I don’t understand their mentality.

And again, WHERE is the mainstream feminist outrage at displays such as this? Where is Meghan “there is no feminist war on sex workers” Murphy, and others, denouncing the public assault of a sex worker by a self-identified feminist group? Stella Marr? Wouldn’t this be “triggering” for you, as a self-identified former victim of violence in sex work? How does this event not count as violence in sex work? Ms. Steinem? Mr. Kristof? Ms. Mam? Can’t put down the Perrier-Jouët for a second and talk about how any violence against any sex worker is the work of those Big Bad Traffickers & Exploiters and not of those who want to help?

Ah, but of course. Their concern was never about accepting sex workers as they are, nor their choices, nor their varied circumstances, nor addressing actual nuanced concerns within the industry instead of generalizations and strawmen big enough to put a wicker man to shame. Just personal squicks made into laws and statutes that, in the short and long term help no one except career politicians and lobbyists.

And this is why we don’t like you.

Gail Dines on Being Called a Crusader

Tags

doing the homework, feminism, general bullshit analysis, general snark, keeping it real

Names and some pictures manipulated for privacy concerns. More respect than they showed me and mine.

“Love being called a crusader!!! I am Jewish and the crusaders murdered my people so a bit hard for me to be one of them. Then again, don’t expect the pornography pimps to be the most well read or thoughtful of thinkers. Their brains are way below the belt!” -Gail Dines, Facebook Wall, Public posting. 1 February 2013. 10:06 am. See picture at left for the screenshot.

I won’t be so petty as to point out missing commas, improper hyphenation, and the excessive use of exclamation points, but let’s talk capitalization. See, most pornography pimps I know (and I suppose I am one since I consume porn and have even assisted in a porn shoot as well as being an escort) would know to capitalize the ‘c’ in crusader when speaking about the historical persons. That’s a bit learned for people who are supposedly, “…[not] the most well read [sic] or thoughtful of thinkers [sic]“, isn’t it?

A crusade, as applicable to Gail Dines and others and is the context in which the  noun is applied, is, “Any vigorous, aggressive movement for the defense or advancement of an idea, cause, etc.” Therefore, a crusader is a person engaged in said movement. Wanting to achieve the impossible goal of permanently removing pornography and other sexual media from humanity (which has never happened before) is definitely a vigorous, aggressive movement and Dines enthusiastically places herself on that front line. Furthermore, as you will see at the above link, “to crusade” means to “mark with a cross” and in the figurative sense is defined as “campaign against a public evil”. Dines most certainly believe commercial sex in all its forms is a public evil and since she wishes to wipe it out, she fully embodies crusader in the secular sense as it was, is, and always will be applied outside of a religious context. Again, weird that I know this, pornified as I am.

The Crusades, however, were primarily the military and religious incursions into the Middle East during the 11th-15th centuries with the main goal of occupying and claiming the Holy Lands in the name of Christianity, specifically the Roman Catholic Church, kicking out the other inhabitants in the meantime. There were Crusades into the Balkans in the 15th century to fight the Ottoman Empire. These battles were bloody and brutal. But that’s not we’re talking about, Professor Dines, and you know it isn’t.

My pornified brain that earned its BA in the History of Art and Architecture, emphasizing religious art and architecture of the Renaissance, also remembers that The Crusades didn’t stop at targeting “Gail’s people” or Muslims. Christian sects that were anathema to The Holy Mother Church (coincidentally, in the modern-day, they are buddies of anti-porn crusaders), namely the Cathars in Occitania (southern France). Since quite a few of my French ancestors were from southern France, can I assume that their own ancient ancestors may have been Cathars as well? Look at that, I was distantly affected by the Crusades too!

The peanut gallery that was the subsequent comment thread likewise showed no ability to recall the dictionary’s definition of crusader. One of them claims, “Their brain is [sic] totally destroyed by the mecanic [sic] compulsiv [sic] repetition of their violence, totally frosen [sic] in a few feelings: hate, sadism, and sadistic joy.” Talk about repetition. And, really, if our brains are destroyed by porn, what is your excuse? I’ve seen kindergarten students who can write better sentences. My destroyed brain, again, knows the difference between small ‘c’ crusader and big ‘C’ Crusader. And I hate nothing except bad grammar, improper syntax, improper context, and flagrant stupidity. Sadistic joy? In ripping you a new one? Yes.

Ridding Gotham of Cathars, Jews, Muslims, and other infidels since May 1939

Here’s an example: Batman is the called “The Caped Crusader” in the small ‘c’ sense because he is vigorously and aggressively fighting against crime and corruption in Gotham. It is capitalized in this sense only because it is being used as a proper noun, a title or nom de cape (roquelaure?), if you will. I doubt anyone reading his comics would have ever thought he was fighting a religious battle in late Middle Ages Europe and the Middle East and was interchangeable with, say, a Knights Templar. Batman is also called “The Dark Knight” but again, I don’t think any of the readers would assume that he was knighted by a monarch. I’d be willing to bet there are more porn consumers among Batman fans than there are Batman fans anti-porn activists and yet, the former group have yet to show even the slightest sign of having a “destroyed brain”…unlike the folks who don’t realize there is a huge, well-known, well-established difference between crusader and Crusader.

Then there was the dim-witted, “Ha, they only have brains zombies would want!” exchange between two of the gallery members. Hmm. Let’s examine that claim. Actually, no, I’ll let The Simpsons handle that one:

Oh, those zombies are coming right for you geniuses since all of us with the “destroyed brains” would be unappetizing for the ravenous undead.

Anyway, if you have too much time on your hands, a low gag reflex, and enjoy watching the macabre…what am I saying? Of course you do. Go check out Gail Dines’ Facebook wall. It’s entertaining in the same way as getting your eyes clawed out by feral cat is entertaining.

Join Me in the Fight Against Whorephobia!

Tags

doing the homework, Economic realities, economics of sex work, essence of Aspasia, feminism, for shame, general bullshit analysis, general snark, independence, independent thinking, keeping it real, sex worker stereotypes

What do you do when a nasty case of hating your fellow human being’s life and/or career choices breaks out? I’ll talk about the latest information on identifying Whorephobia, including symptoms, treatments, and even prevention. Together, we can eradicate whorephobia in our lifetime.

What is Whorephobia?

“Fear of whores”. That fear can manifest in various forms, including social and political rejection of a fellow, otherwise harmless human being, negative projection of one’s own life experiences onto another person’s (typically the Whore in question) experiences, and in severe cases, frothing at the mouth via Internet-based rants and feverishly campaigning for extreme punishment and prohibition of Whores and Whore-adjacent peoples, places, and objects.

Symptoms of Whorephobia

Overall, whorephobia is a collection of various bigotries, prejudices, and misunderstandings that spread between the heart and the brain.

Whorephobia of the heart usually presents as emotional appeals to support criminalization of whores and their trade by highlighting outliers of exploitation and degradation and portraying it as standard. The afflicted solely regard female sex workers as victims, with their self-worth expressed only through their sexual activity. This infection then spreads to the brain, which ceases to function with logic and reason, demonstrated by the fact that most of the afflicted will then suggest forces previously identified (by the afflicted) victims be forcibly entered into the criminal justice system… For their own good and/or For The Children, regardless of whether or not children are involved in any way, shape, or form in persecutions of individual whores. Even when trafficked children are involved, jail/incarceration will be presented as a positive; when children of whores are involved, being removed from their mother’s presence is also presented as a positive, regardless of her parenting ability.

The symptoms of Whorephobia of the heart also include such nervous ticks as Bible-thumping, informing whores about their own lives to the amused disgust of the whores themselves, leaving angry and hateful replies on individual whores’ blogs, leaving “but I’m just concerned about you so that’s why I’m recommending that you be properly reigned in…with non-sexy cuffs” replies on individual whores’ blogs, genuinely well-meaning but horribly misguided lecturing on morals/ethics/the soul/etc, Punditing in the New York Times, quoting Kate Millet, Melissa Farley, Gail Dines, Gloria Steinem, Kat Banyard or, especially in cases concerning transgender persons in or out of sex work, Julie Burchill, Suzanne Moore, and Julie Bindel; celebrity cases are found posing in pictures with Somaly Mam or associating with highly suspect organizations more interested in PR and photo ops than any positive, meaningful work.

Random Punditing about sex work, while a moderate symptom, can worsen with time, fame, and delusions of grandeur. If you or any casual observer notices a swelling of your head, consult your nearest professional whore immediately to dispel any notions of why your half-congealed ideas probably have no bearing on hers/his/x’s reality.

Whorephobia of the brain often affects those who, while possibly well-meaning, will nonetheless support their local law enforcement agencies prosecution of sex work, sex workers, and their clients. Their symptoms usually include a shrugging of their shoulders and a reedy-voiced statement of, “it’s wrong because it is against the law” and or accepting nonsensical numbers regarding trafficking out of hand to appear as an informed citizen. The afflicted can often be talked into taking large doses of Reality™, which includes active ingredients such as reminding the afflicted, “remember when being gay/interracially married/non-Christian/divorced/getting an abortion/associating with the wrong political party,etc. was against the law too?” and “you support decriminalizing drugs, which many people consider to be just as dangerous as sex work, so wtf?” and “sexual liberation of women must start with supporting sex workers”. Also included in this group are people who are concerned with exploitation in labour as a whole but, not understanding how much control a Whore has over the transaction and how much more she could obtain if certain laws were removed or relaxed that prevent such a possibility, assume that she (still, always a she) is but another exploited body.

Other afflicted persons with Whorephobia of the brain include malicious people who profit greatly from widespread outbreaks of Whorephobia. The afflicted include, but are in no way limited to: district/states attorneys, politicians, rapists, law enforcement agents, thieves, unscrupulous ‘journalists’, and real and not-imagined traffickers/pimps. Please note, a single afflicted can be many of those aforementioned personages and so extreme caution must be used in their presence when attempting to administer Reality™. Such cases will need intravenous doses of Reality™ several times a week and a complete removal of financial incentive to keep their ethics and morality in a constant state of infirmity.

Extremely severe cases will require physical therapy. No, not that kind.

Causes of Whorephobia

Generally, the causes of Whorephobia are being unintentionally or willfully ignorant of the reality of whores or only acknowledging the extremes of what you consider whoredom. Second-hand knowledge gained from sources that continuously tell you that whores themselves cannot be trusted with an honest account of their own lives should be avoided like the plague. A nasty, ratty, ignorant plague. Common vectors are feminism, religion, sensationalist media, liberalism, and conservatism. If you are interacting with one of these common vectors but are only showing mild symptoms of Whorephobia (the occasional abashed giggle at “dead whore” jokes, for example), please consult a professional right away. We don’t bite, unless you’re into that.

Treatment of Whorephobia

There is a cure! Truly, we live in a fabulous age. Social media has allowed us to connect to people we might otherwise have passed our entire lives without knowing. Use it wisely. Blogs, Twitter accounts, Tumblrs, podcasts, and many other platforms are used by whores to express their thoughts on all sorts of topics, including their job. Indeed, some professionals note improvement in this epidemic of Whorephobia, as many of the worldwide afflicted are questioning the validity of punishing people, especially female and often marginalized peoples, for their choices, regardless of the prime motivation. The undiluted doses of Reality™ administered via social media and ethical journalism are largely to credit for this break in treatment. For the foreseeable future, this treatment will continue.

For the historically minded, researching famous whores of times gone past has helped identify and respect the humanity of present-day whores. The library has large doses of Reality™.

For the hands-on learner, actually booking a session or talking to sex workers can give you the proper doses of Reality™. The afflicted are strongly cautioned against asking questions that demonstrate undiluted Whorephobia such as, “What’s your real name?” or “You were probably molested all the time, right?” or statements such as, “But you’re so smart! Why are you doing this?” This will not only cause your Whorephobia to aggressively relapse via a slap to the face, but may also, is cases with escorts and companions, cause your deposit to be forfeited, the session ended, and you being blacklisted as a Time Waster. Even if this is an individual whore’s reality, the disease of Whorephobia will make you hallucinate this as a strike against her dignity as a human. Merely listen, do not apply pressure or prejudices, and accept what is presented.

Sadly, however, some cases of Whorephobia are terminal but are likely few in number. Some may leave with grace and dignity while other cases will thrash and scream whilst in death throes.

Life After Whorephobia

Congratulations on surviving what is often a very pernicious and persistent disease. Keeping Whorephobia at bay requires constant vigilance on your part. If you want to help administer Reality™ to other seemingly afflicted in your everyday life, become a vocal ally! Stick up for sex workers’ rights and realities, no matter how distasteful and uncomfortable it makes you personally and remind others of that fact as well. Especially in comment threads on articles that so often double as a veritable sanitorium of the afflicted Whorephobics.

If you are extremely motivated and have time to spare, become involved with a local sex worker rights organization that is led by sex workers themselves. If you also have money or resources to spare, then donate to them. Eradicating Whorephobia can be difficult, frustrating, time-consuming, expensive, and even dangerous work, but activists soldier on nonetheless.

Let’s make Whorephobia a thing of the past!

Hey, that’s me! And other general things…

Tags

essence of Aspasia, prostitution, sex worker allies, sex worker media

Ever my champion and friend, Anthony of Blog of Pro-Porn Activism called to my attention via Twitter that This American Whore, a podcast hosted by Siouxsie Q, is highlighting my blog this week!

 

“@scarletalliance: #sexworker Blog Of The Week is Libertine Salon, #sexworker & art historian, Chicago lalibertinesalon.wordpress.com”

— This American Whore (@WhoreCast) February 4, 2013

Thank you, Siouxsie Q! And whilst we are on the subject of This American Whore, the podcast is currently the subject of a lawsuit and snit fit by Ira Glass and Chicago Public Media. Glass is the host of This American Life, the popular radio program. SF Weekly covers the issue well in this article, as well as the hypocrisy and obvious whorephobia displayed by Glass and CPM.

But someone who is not whorephobic at all is Nick Cave, whose new video, Jubilee Street, to quote Melissa Gira Grant shows that, “…. Nick Cave knows that sex workers have your shit called OUT, people.”

Chicago-area announcements: Participants needed for study

Tags

Announcements

Hi everyone!

Just a quick post here and really it is more of an announcement. A good friend of mine, Fawna Stockwell, PhD, of The Chicago School of Psychology, is conducting a study on the effects of daily activities on intimate relationships. These relationships can reflect any sexual orientation or expression and participants can be of any gender or sex. Since the first and final interviews need to be in-person, this is restricted to people in the Chicagoland area.

Fawna is open-minded and really awesome. I have participated in a couple of her surveys before, so no worries. On the left you can see the official advertisement for research. If you want to participate, you can email her any questions or concerns here: fstockwell[at]thechicagoschool.edu.

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Tags

doing the homework, general bullshit analysis, prostitution, read it your damn self, sex work and the UK, sex worker stereotypes

Jemima101 of It’s Just a Hobby alerted her followers, including yours truly, to a particularly obnoxious survey online via Twitter. It is published by the UK-based All Parliament Prostitution Group and, to make a long story short, it’s aim is to institute the paternalistic and harmful Nordic Model in the United Kingdom. The survey starts with a page of definitions of different legalization schemes that is just rife with misleading information and, in the case of the New Zealand decriminalisation model, outright lies (pdf via Maggie McNeill). Below is a screenshot of that definition page, so go ahead and read that now. I won’t be going through every definition here so that I can move on with my own personal “Terms of Enrampagement”.

I added my two pence to the survey even though I am not British…by birth or residency anyway. The United States of America and the United Kingdom still have a good relationship and share some cultural values, despite that whole war of independence debacle. Americans are the country cousins Brits don’t like talking about all that much to other people, but that you don’t mind when they come ’round anyway. Anyway, I decided, around question 6 out of 14 to record the questions and my answers on a Word document. So that is what I am sharing with you here. Let’s proceed:

6. Do you consider the current laws on prostitution in the UK to be effective and consistent in safeguarding those involved in prostitution from violence, exploitation, and/or abuse? Please answer ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, and provide reasons for your response.

 

No. By criminalising related aspects of working as a prostitute, the law isolates prostitutes, and thereby aiding and abetting any who wish to harm them.

7. Do you consider the current laws in the UK to be a barrier to those who wish to exit prostitution? Please answer ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, and outline reasons for your response.

 

Yes. Criminal background checks are always a barrier. Those prostitutes who have criminal records won’t be able to find another job that pays a LIVING wage. Again, criminalisation aides and abets harm against sex workers.

8. Around the world, there are different legal settlements that govern prostitution. Do you think any of the legal settlements outlined in the summary above would be a good basis to base reforms in the UK on? Please give evidence and reasons to support your answer.

 

Decriminalisation as it has been enacted in NZ. Despite the spurious claim at the beginning of this survey, sex workers there feel decidedly safer and experience less violence.

9. At present it is often legal to purchase sex. Do you feel criminalising the purchase of sex could make a contribution to tackling demand? Please answer ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, and outline reasons for your response and what other measures would be required.

 

No. The purchase of sex should not be criminalised at all. Unless you want to criminalise sex in general, neuter everyone and have human reproduction happen in petri dishes and test tubes. There will always be demand and people to supply.

10. At present a number of laws seek to regulate and restrict prostitution in England and Wales. Do you think altering or removing these laws could make a contribution to tackling demand? Please answer ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, and outline reasons for your response and what other measures would be required.

 

No. You should study history and biology. There is no such thing as restricting or ending demand for paid sex. It simply goes underground or changes in form. The more the law retracts protection from prostitutes, the more harm is attracted to it.

11. There is evidence that a number of people involved in selling sex would like to exit prostitution but find it difficult to do so. What measures (including legal measures) would be most helpful to support those involved in prostitution who wish to exit?

 

Decriminalisation. Job training. Expunging ALL criminal references to being a prostitute. Full stop.

12. Do you regard prostitution as:

Do you regard prostitution as:  ‘Sex-work’ – an acceptable form of employment like any other occupationA form of commoditisation and exploitation of vulnerable people

Other (please specify)

13. From your experience, please indicate if you have encountered people involved in prostitution which the following applies to. If possible, please give an indication of the proportion of service users in your answer.

From your experience, please indicate if you have encountered people involved in prostitution which the following applies to. If possible, please give an indication of the proportion of service users in your answer.  a) have a drug and/or alcohol addiction.

Yes, because this happens to other humans as well.

b) have encountered violence and/or sexual violence

Yes, because this happens to other humans as well.

c) entered prostitution under the age of 18

Yes, because they were running from an abusive household and had to support themselves.

d) were sexually exploited under the age of 18

Yes, because this happens to other humans as well.

e) have been coerced into sexual exploitation or are presently controlled by another

Yes, because this happens in other relationships as well.

14. Do you have any other comments surrounding the legal settlement on prostitution in the UK?

Considering the misleading questions and outright lies in the definition and effect of decriminalisation in NZ, I cannot help but to think that you do not have our best interests in mind. Until you include sex worker rights organisations, run by sex workers themselves, then your attempt is nothing more than paternalisation and pandering.

The sub questions to number 13: I answered in that manner to reinforce the reality that prostitutes and other sex workers are human. That many of the issues that prohibitionists point to as being innate and inevitable in prostitution are not and are lived through by other human beings as well. Think they’ll get it? Probably not, if they are dead-set on prohibitionist legislation.

Please take the survey, especially if you actually live in the UK. Here is a link to APPG and the survey link is there in the post ‘Call for Evidence’. I have to laugh at that, because I doubt they’re actually looking for evidence so much as Reasons To Proceed Apace.

And thank you for proving my point

Tags

feminism, general bullshit analysis, Jessica Valenti, prostitution, sex worker stereotypes, vice-virtue dichotomy

My most popular post to date is “Feminism: Not Fucking Getting It…..AGAIN! Part: Infinity”, with over 1,000 views and 50 comments. One particular comment by DD questioned my claims of the general twattery found in feminism. My responses, as I hope you read already, included denouncement of sex-positive feminism as well naming that facet of feminism as one that is not always sex worker friendly. Though I seemed to have burst DD’s feminism bubble somewhat, the person who really did the heavy lifting for me recently was Jessica Valenti.

Oh, nothing that she meant to do as I’m sure she doesn’t know I exist. I really don’t care one way or ‘tother. But in a recent column, the founder of the popular website Feministing, author of several books including one that attacks slut-shaming, and oft-identified “sex-positive feminist”, wrote an article for The Nation denouncing what she sees as rape culture in the wake of the recent scandal in Ohio as well as the truly horrendous gang rape of a young woman in India. All well and good.

Unsurprising to anyone who has been active in sex worker rights activism for more than a few years (though this is nonetheless tiresome and annoying), it didn’t take long for someone to blame sex work for rape culture. Specifically this person named, “Strip Clubs, porno, prostitution,” in the same breath as incest and sexual harassment, the same way social conservatives do with gay marriage. Oh wait, the commenter left out beastiality. Anyway, when I first read the article and its comments, somewhat breaking my own rule about reading comment threads, it was the fifth comment. As of this writing, it is further down. But at that earlier time, Valenti was still participating in the comment thread, that is to say, she was actively answering or refuting the claims of other commenters. And her answer to the spurious claim that paid sexual transactions create rape culture?

 

 

To the commenter DD, this is exactly what I mean. Here is a feminist who should ostensibly be on the side of sex workers doing nothing to defend our work against claims that it causes rape and is on equal footing with incest and sexual harassment. It’s the little gestures that count….both ways.

 

In other news, it’s my 32nd birthday! There will be many empty wine bottles by the end of the day.

A Remembrance Two Days Late

Tags

Economic realities, economics of sex work, prostitution, think of the children, vice-virtue dichotomy

Monday was the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. I won’t rehash the history here, but this is a link to December 17.org which tells the story of the day and why it was established on 12/17. I was traveling home from out-of-town on that day and so missed out on SWOP-Chicago’s celebration. Though I arrived in Chicago with enough time to go, to be perfectly honest, winter travel wears me out, even though I love the season. So it was straight home, and checking email in my pajamas with hot cocoa in my hand.

I didn’t write a blog post ahead of time because I tend to write posts about this day based on how I’m feeling that year on that day. Though I’m two days late, I still want to post some recognition of the day. This year will be a short tale about the first prostitute I ever met.

Her name was Liz* and she lived down the block from my parents’ house. We moved into the neighborhood when I was four years old and I think I met Liz when I was about six years old. She was a streetworker, in her twenties, who lived with her mother who had MS. Now, this was in the mid-1980s and MS was often one of those ailments whose treatments weren’t covered by many health insurance companies. I assume this is why Liz worked as a prostitute, to help cover the care costs for her mother.

“40 Reasons Why Whores Are My Heroes” by Annie Sprinkle

Ours was a middle-class, predominantly African-American neighborhood. People there worked as teachers, IT specialists, civil servants (esp. firefighters and police), small business owners, etc. Liz was tall (at least to my young and short perspective), thin, and pretty. While I’m sure the adults had their very strong opinions about Liz and her job, us kids didn’t really hear any negative talk. Anyone who knows Southerners and Southern etiquette will understand. Though I lived in Chicago, most of the residents had a Southern upbringing (including my parents to an extent) and there is a certain expected politesse that you show at minimum unless some real shit has gone down. And even then….

Us girls thought she dressed really cool and I do remember her style being somewhere between Madonna and Janet Jackson, my two idols at the time. Most importantly, Liz was never mean to us kids and didn’t think we were “in the way” as we ran around like chickens with our heads cut off. Which, believe me, we did. We usually saw Liz in the late afternoon as she was heading to work. That was usually the cue that it was almost dinner time or the dreaded homework time.

About two years later (so I was about eight years old), we heard that Liz had been raped. The adults kept a straight face around us but none of us kids understood what rape meant and our parents didn’t tell us either. I remember maman simply saying, “It’s something bad that happens” and that it wasn’t something that should happen to anyone. One of my neighbors, while she didn’t say it outright, made a face that I remember thinking wasn’t all that sympathetic to Liz’s predicament.

Unknown artist- Desiree Alliance website

After that, we didn’t see Liz going out to work for a while…though it may have been all of two days. In kid time, of course, two days not coming out of your house may as well be an eternity. But eventually she went back to work. I mean, she had to support her mother after all. I don’t remember any visual signs of an assault (like  from a struggle against the assault). Everything went back to normal. About a year later, Liz and her mother moved. If I remember correctly, her parents decided to remarry so that Liz’s father could provide the needed support for her mother’s treatment. He lived somewhere in west Texas.

I feel very fortunate to have known someone like Liz in my young life. Though some would certainly balk at the fact that one of those “horrid” street prostitutes being allowed to even casually interact with neighborhood children, it definitely prevented me from ever thinking that all prostitutes were horrible people. Even when I first heard prohibitionist and anti-whore feminist propaganda when I identified myself as a feminist, I knew Liz. I couldn’t believe that anyone who could be like Liz “had it coming” or was unable to make decisions about her own life. Quite possibly, Liz would have been something else if the circumstances had dictated it, but she did the best with what she had to work with. Or maybe she still would have been a prostitute on the streets or perhaps would have tried escorting via newspaper ads, but without asking her directly I won’t make any assumptions.

I sincerely hope Liz is still alive and living a full and wonderful life. Hooker with a heart of gold? Perhaps. But Liz is a decent human being and that is what is most important to remember.

*Name changed to protect identity, of course.

Buddy Cole on Vice

Tags

Buddy Cole, economics of sex work, general bullshit analysis, hilarious, I Love Canada, keeping it real, Kids in the Hall, LGBTQ, vice-virtue dichotomy

YouTube can be addictive. All sorts of clips of shows from your childhood that you haven’t seen in years. The amazing Canadian sketch comedy show, Kids in the Hall, has a plethora of clips on YouTube. My favorite character on there was Buddy Cole, the flamboyantly gay bar owner and bon vivant, portrayed by the hilarious Scott Thompson. In the below clip, he talks about the uselessness of persecuting “vice” and about freedom of choice:

And just for the record, I am not ashamed of anything I have ever done in my career to put food on the table. Modeling can mean a lot of things! It’s all about freedom of choice. The freedom to put whatever it is you want into your body, whether it be an idea, a line, or….Carlos!

Feminism: Not Fucking Getting It….AGAIN! Part: Infinity

Tags

feminism, feminist mewlings, general bullshit analysis, hypocrites, independent thinking, keeping it real, Mary Elizabeth Williams, Salon.com, sexuality

Created by me, at Some E-cards.

A writer at Salon, Mary Elizabeth Williams, decries celebrity women who vocally disavow any association with feminism or identifying as a feminist. She specifically names singer Katy Perry and former supermodel, former First Lady of France, and singer Carla Bruni-Sarkozy as women who apparently shame all of our lady parts by not identifying as feminists. In the case of Bruni-Sarkozy, who bluntly stated that, “We don’t need to be feminist in my generation.” She later recanted part of her statements, which were apparently taken out of context.

Next up is Katy Perry. Let me say out front, I can’t stand Katy Perry as I think she completely lacks talent or any artistic merit and is over-hyped to boot. I literally feel my brain turning to mush and my soul dying just a little more every time I hear one of her songs or see her face. I long for the day a black hole swallows her along with Chris Brown, Rihanna, Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, and most of the people who have ever been on American Idol. That said, I am definitely defending her right to not identify as feminist. Katy believes in the strength of women but doesn’t identify as a feminist. MEW and most of the comment thread is up in arms and can’t understand how Katy can think of the two as not mutually inclusive.

Created by me, at the Futurama Fry meme generator.

How could anyone not want to be feminist?! I mean, sure, there are a couple (several) of vocal (disproportionately so) feminists (actually misogynists and misandrists) who give the rest of feminism (mainstream and many of its tributaries) a bad name (by openly stating what many prefer to whisper, ideally behind fans and handkerchiefs), but who cares about them (besides the politicians and lawmakers and journalists who give them the time of day)? That was pretty much the reaction of MEW and the comment thread. There were a few voices of reason that tried to point out the imperialist attitudes of mainstream Western feminism (predominantly white, middle-class, college-educated, north of the Mason-Dixon line) and how they regard women of color/non-white women within their own countries as well as abroad.

Hell, ask any Muslim woman who decides on her own to don the traditional coverings and is told by a Western feminist that she can’t possibly be making that decision freely within the ever oppressive Patriarchal context. You know, the one where all women are children unless anointed otherwise by the Great Wise Council of Feminists.

Of course, ask any sex worker who is fully aware and in control of herself and her life choices, even if some of those choices are ill-advised. We’ve been told that we don’t exist. Or if we do, we’re not representative– one of those rare occasions where the voice of a minority is not championed. You know how feminists like to say and support the concept, in other contexts, that the majority should not dictate the freedoms of the minority. Yeah, not in the case of us “non-representative” sex workers, who are some elite cadre of Super Whores (thanks for the compliment). No…we just need to shut up and stop interacting with people like we’re human or some shit.

Created by me, at Some E-cards.

The first cry given on the feminist defensive line is, “We’re not all man-hating, femininity-hating, frumpy activists!” No, of course you’re not all like that. But all of your derisive comments about male sexuality (primarily heterosexual males), all your bitchy comments about women who enjoy feminine trappings, all your sneering snits about women who have cosmetic surgery, and just general patronizing twattery certainly indicate otherwise. It is one thing to say, for example, I don’t understand why I would need to wear makeup; it is quite another to say, feminists don’t wear make up and any woman who does is merely slavishly following the dictates of Patriarchy.

The second cry is, “You just want to please teh menz!” The implied inverse being, “Since you are not aiming to please us, the Great Wise Council of Feminists.” This is particularly hilarious because the men we’re supposedly betraying the sisterhood to please are apparently the same raging, misogynist, douchebags who wouldn’t respect a woman’s opinion no matter what it is. So, how would disdaining mainstream feminism bring about this machismo happiness? That’s right, not at all. And yes, I have made plenty of men happy and I am not ashamed to say so; but it was with my boundaries and self-esteem and individuality (and stubbornness!) firmly in tact and I dare say such traits were a turn-on for the men, not a turn off.

The general No True Scotsman mentality of feminists like MEW prevents any ability to seriously consider the objections of women who have very specific reasons to reject the label of feminist. To do that is to admit flaws, guilt, and yes, collusion at times with the very structure they claim to be raging against.